We All Look!

If you go to a strip club with ya dude then you have no right to get mad bout him getting dances. Focus on what's gonna happen when yall get home! Shit! If your relationship is tight and you don't have any worries, why are you trippin anyway? He can look all he wants as long as that dick belongs to you! We all look/lust at other people. Looking and touching are two different things. As long as you know your boundaries while in a relationship then you're straight. Hell, I'm strictly dickly but I'll go with my dude, throw dollars on a hoe & get my back broke in after we get home too. If you're committed to me and I to you then we'll already have enough mutual respect for each other to have boundaries with the opposite sex. Let's keep it 100! If a man wants to do something he'll do it regardless and your bitching sure as fuck won't stop it! Half of y'all hoes get pissed off about ya dude glancing at a fat ass while you're at Kroger but be drooling over men that you see too. When you get involved in a relationship your significant other doesn't go blind and the muthafucka doesn't become invisible either. Just like they caught your eye, they can catch someone else's. That's when boundaries come in. Why would you even attempt to be in a relationship with someone that you don't fully trust anyway? Having someone just to say that you have someone is as stupid as a sissy fixing his balls before he get's his face in order. Love yourself because nobody else can love you until you do! 

DeadBeats

   I always here these horror stories about how women do their kids dad wrong once they break up but what about the bitter men that do the same shit? How can a man mistreat his kids by refusing to care for them just because the kids mom doesn't want to continue a relationship with him? Doing that doesn't hurt the mother as much as it will hurt, damage and impact the children. Children are not oblivious to what is going on always. They witness things but keep their mouths shut and more than likely will begin to lash out once they get older. You cannot place your kids on a shelf like an old toy and come back to play with them whenever you see fit. Being a parent is a 24 hour job that parents should take pride in doing. Grow up people! Stop letting your adult bitterness affect your children. After all, they never asked to be here. They just want to feel loved and accepted by both parents without enduring the adult bullshit that you'll created!!!

We All Have Our Struggles But We Must Overcome Them

My friend sent me a blog about her inner thoughts and I asked her if I could share it. Of course she agreed since she, just like I like to empower women as well as learn not only from our on mistakes but others as well. I just wanted my readers to know that we are not alone in our struggles. We all have our own obstacles to overcome and hopefully this story will help someone find the strength that they need deep down inside! 

She writes......

  Sometimes, it takes someone else's mess to recognize your shit stinks also... I'd like to thank the good folks at Love & Hip Hop ATL, especially MiMi and Erica for opening my eyes and allowing me to hold my mirror close and see MY truths... For the past 3 1/2 years, I've embarked on a sometimes good, most times bad, on/off again relationship with someone I loved and adored... What I didn't realize about my own situation, was that as time went on and he and I rode this roller coaster... I was less in love with him and more in love with the idea that one day, he would give me what I desired... A family unit, love, support and an equal give and take... I also felt partially obligated to be there for him... I wanted to show him that regardless of past relationships he is and was worthy of unconditional love... Over time I realized, you can give all you have, love without conditions, but if a man doesn't feel HE is worth it... It's a vicious cycle of you losing yourself in a situation where nothing you do is ever "good enough"... By nature, I'm a nurturer... I give all I can and do all I can for anyone... However, when I determine that "I love you" there are no limits to what I will do to make you happy, negating my own happiness at times... Now reread that last sentence and see how fucked up that mentality is and the sad part is many of my Sister's share this same "confockted" ideology.  Why is it, a woman will forego her happiness to cater to that of a man that is usually undeserving of that kind of "power" or love in the first place... In this relationship, I gave all I had and then some and tolerated things I ordinarily wouldn't... As I look back, I was driven by the notion that if I loved him in a place he'd never been loved before he would realize he had a "great one"... Truth is, I stuck by this man through a deployment, was dumped upon his return and ultimately took him back & embarked and stood by him for another deployment... Without him changing a thing... I took him back "as is"... And then convinced myself I was lucky to have him... That is my fault... Recently, my life was turned upside down, by the unexpected and untimely death of one of my favorite Uncle's... While I smile and go on my way, this loss truly hurt my heart... I struggle with his loss almost daily... I'm either extremely sad or extremely angry... I could see no good from this situation and through one of my many, sleepless, insomniac driven all night God talks, I received a huge epiphany... My Uncle was family, I spent a lot of my life with him... Times when my own Dad and I were on the "outs" my Uncle was there... He truly was a surrogate and didn't have to be... Losing him is something I will probably never get over, but I'm comforted in knowing its something over time I will be able to "deal" with... If there could ever be a bright side, my Uncle's passing made me re-evaluate every friendship I have including my relationship... I learned that what we love most at times isn't what God has intended for us and we block blessings writing people in ink in our lives, when clearly God wants them to be a pencil we are able to erase... I have learned I don't have to do extra, if I'm me in time whomever God has chosen me for will manifest themselves... I'm saddened because I finally decided to rid myself of the situation... If I can lose my Uncle and never see him again... I can remove anyone that isn't being what I need them to be and not returning what I'm giving... Relationships aren't 80/20, 100/0 or even 52/48... It's 50/50 and not half of what you desire to give... It's two people giving equally of what they both have to offer... I've learned, I'm clingy, I require lots of attention and I'm really affectionate... These are things he tried to tell me were flaws or bad qualities... Truth is, these are me and there is someone out there that will accept me as is... As I continue to deal with my Uncle's passing and mourn the end to a relationship and friendship, I am reminded, God holds me... He never gives me more than I can bare and I'm being prepared for my best yet and I will come through this storm, happier, better and even more blessed... A huge weight was lifted when I ended that relationship... I thought I'd be sad, depressed... I was actually happy, relieved and fulfilled. I've learned a lot, grown a lot and matured immensely since my Uncle's passing... My tolerance is lower and I'm living more doing more and delving more into God and who HE wants me to be...  Finally I can say, aside from God & my boys, I'm finally, putting ME first....

- F. Nichole

DATING

   Are there any laws or rules to dating? I have been asking myself this recently. I'm trying to figure out how to date more than one guy without neglecting one of them. I usually only date one guy at a time because it seems like too much of a struggle trying to please more than one person at a time. I have no clue how Stevie J is able to do this with his various women. Somehow I think that one of them feels neglected while the main one is the one feeling special and everyone wants to feel special, spend time together and feel secure in whatever it is you have going on. At least I know I do. Without it I will become bored and lose interest. To some I suppose that is complex, while others see it as an easy task. Guys tell me all the time how I'm a good woman and how they would love to be with me but I digress. I don't feel the same about them. I have taken the time to get to know several guys over the past few years and I can honestly say that I have only met 2 that I know that I could be with happily. Some say that I'm too picky but I think that I have standards and morals that help me decide about who I choose to love and/or date. In a world driven by sex, money and common hate, how do you successfully date in 2012? I know that I will never find someone with each and everything that I'm looking for but I am entitled to someone that possesses the vast majority of the qualities that I need. Matter of fact it's quite simple in my eyes. Intelligence, good sense of humor, chivalry, good conversation, honesty, commitment (no cheating allowed), family orientated, nice libido and someone not too clingy but knows how to spend time with me and make me feel special are a few of those requirements. Is that too much to ask for? Right now I'm not sure. I feel as though I'm at a dating crossroad and I'm not sure which way to go. To be honest, I'm not sure if I should continue down the road that I'm on but I know the roads that I don't want to take. What are your dating experiences like?

DEAR DIARY

   Today has been a sad day since I have been sitting here feeling quite lonely since I stopped dating. Maybe it will get better as soon as I settle into my new place. I met a few of my neighbors yesterday while dragging my furniture up the stairs of my apartment complex. One of them was extremely nice and helped me bring some of my things inside. At first I didn't expect him to do anything but politely wave just like the others because he's so handsome and I didn't think he would give me a second look. To my surprise he did.
 
   After getting everything inside he stayed to help put my furniture together. I decided that I would prepare us a nice dinner since that was the least that I could do after he had worked so hard helping me. As I chopped the vegetables for my stew I saw him remove his shirt while trying to cool off. The sweat dripping down his beautifully sculpted chocolate body instantly made me lick my lips. "Is he turning me on?", I thought silently to myself while shaking my head in disbelief. "Mam, you don't have to go through any trouble on my account.", he said to me from the bedroom, "I am just about done with your bed so you should come try it out." I finished putting everything inside my roasting pot and hurried into the bedroom only to see his body glistening and his muscles protruding. I think that I instantly became wet. I walk over to him to thank him and he said, "Go ahead. Jump on it. I aim to please." I thought to myself, " I wish you'd jump on me." I sat down on the bed and smiled while telling him what a great job that he had done. I took my shoes off and began rubbing my feet. To my surprise he grabbed my foot and began massaging it. I was melting into the bed. Before I knew I was laying back on the bed and what started off as an innocent foot massage had turned into a full body massage and all I had on was my panties. With ever stroke of my body I could feel his hard chiseled body against mine and before I knew it, I began to kiss him passionately. It has been so long since I had been with a man. What if I had forgotten what to do? But he kissed me back while slipping his fingers inside my tight wet pussy. This was driving me crazy. Is this really happening? I've never done anything like this before. He slowly took his fingers from inside of me then sucked every drop of my juices from his finger tips. I began to kiss and lick his chest until I finally made it to his shaft. It was big, black and pretty. I made sure to put each and every inch inside of my mouth. Sucking and sucking, wanting to get him just as excited as I am. Evidently I was doing a great job because before I knew it, he had grabbed me and threw me onto the bed damn near ripping my panties off. His tongue slid inside of me melting me like a hot knife going into butter. My body was gyrating uncontrollably around the motions of his mouth while he sucked and tongue fucked my pussy like I have never had it before. Oh my god I'm cumming! As I began to cum all in his mouth and all over his face, he thrust his big dick deep inside my pussy causing me to go crazily insane. He felt so good inside of me. He would slow down at points during our fling. I'm not sure if he did it to keep himself from cumming or if he just like to hear me beg for him to go deeper inside of me. Either way, I was enjoying each and every inch of this man that was here with me, inside of me and outside of me. He knew exactly where to place his hands at every point. There was no part of my body that he left untouched and I was grateful for it. "I can't let him outdo me.", I thought as I began to ride his beautifully built big dick. I rode him fast and hard reverse cowgirl style and just when he was about to cum, I jumped up and sucked each and every drop out of him. He tasted really good and I made sure that he knew that by not wasting a drop of his cum. I swallowed it all. As we both fell back on my bed....

   "Mam, Do you need some help bringing your things inside?",my new neighbor asked. At first sight I had began to daydream about the fine specimen that god made and called a man. I promptly answered, "Sure. It would be nice if you could help.", while smiling at him innocently. Then he yelled into his apartment, "Hey babe, I'm going to help our new neighbor. Come on boys, yall can lend a hand too." Just my luck I guess. He's married with kids. In time one day I will find that man I guess but until then I guess I will continue getting settled into my new home. *sigh*

STILL ON MY MIND! SMGDH!!!!

I got this on repeat!!!! Frank Ocean - Thinkin Bout You


Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
A tornado flew around my room before you came
Excuse the mess it made, it usually doesn't rain
In Southern California, much like Arizona
My eyes don't shed tears, but boy, they pour when

[Hook]
I'm thinking 'bout you (Ooh no, no, no)
I've been thinking 'bout you (You know, know, know)
I've been thinking 'bout you
Do you think about me still? Do ya, do ya?

[Bridge]
Or do you not think so far ahead?
Cause I been thinking 'bout forever, ooh
Or do you not think so far ahead?
Cause I been thinking 'bout forever, ooh

[Verse 2]
No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it
Got a beach house I could sell you in Idaho, since you think
I don't love you, I just thought you were cute, that's why I kissed you
Got a fighter jet, I don't get to fly it, though, I'm lying down

[Hook] + [Bridge]

[Verse 3]
Yes, of course, I remember, how could I forget, how you feel?
You know you were my first time, a new feel
It won't ever get old, not in my soul, not in my spirit, keep it alive
We'll go down this road 'til it turns from color to black and white

Fuckery

I will be sooooo glad when reality shows like The Real House Hoes Of Atlanta, Basketball Bitches and Love And Who Aint Hip Hop would stop being aired! In my opinion, these shows depict African Americans in the worst possible way. These people DO NOT represent me in any way, shape or form. I'm grateful that my kids don't like foolishness or they'd try to watch it just like many other youth. Is this really the example that, we as black people, want to put out there to represent us? I guess nobody cares as long as a buck is being made by someone. There are people that lobbied against gangsta rap and the stigma that it carried but I guess this bullshit, that is considered entertainment, is ok for everyone until it spills into the upper class communities. What happened to the real shows that had to have talented writers to carry it for years at a time? I really don't give two fucks about what a celebrity has going on in their life. A celebrity's job is to entertain me with an illusion of some sort then go home to their own private life to live. I don't care about where they shop, eat, vacation or none of that. Who cares who they are arguing with? Hell, if the media would keep their drug use out of the lime light then maybe so many kids wouldn't think it was ok to get high since they are doing it. It seems as though our society is being ruined by a contradictory, ass backwards, misguided way of thinking. Everyone wants a better life and wants everything to get better but yet nobody is teaching and instilling any standards, morals or self respect into our youth. Why doesn't Fox News report that? I'm just tired of it all! I suppose my kids along with a few others will be the only ones that have that!

This is really bigger than the fuckery that is found within the African American shows when you think about it. Look at the show 16 & Pregnant, Redneck Weddings and Jersey Shore. Is society so fucked up that all of this has became the norm? I don't blame all of society's problems solely on television but in my opinion it has a lot to do with it. Our kids spend more time watching that idiot box than they do anything else, other than probably facebook and twitter but they are probably doing them both at the same time.

Just remember that kids emulate whatever they are exposed to the next time you think it's cute to watch some bullshit while your child is in the room instead of finding something more appropriate for them. That goes for the things that you do and/or say around them also. I say that because folks kill me acting surprised that their kids turn out to be bad seeds after they exposed them to all the elements that made them that way.

This is not meant to judge anyone. I wrote this hoping that I may make someone put some thought into things and hopefully put some things into perspective. It's never too late for change and if we don't start with ourselves then where will we start?