DEAR DIARY

   Today has been a sad day since I have been sitting here feeling quite lonely since I stopped dating. Maybe it will get better as soon as I settle into my new place. I met a few of my neighbors yesterday while dragging my furniture up the stairs of my apartment complex. One of them was extremely nice and helped me bring some of my things inside. At first I didn't expect him to do anything but politely wave just like the others because he's so handsome and I didn't think he would give me a second look. To my surprise he did.
 
   After getting everything inside he stayed to help put my furniture together. I decided that I would prepare us a nice dinner since that was the least that I could do after he had worked so hard helping me. As I chopped the vegetables for my stew I saw him remove his shirt while trying to cool off. The sweat dripping down his beautifully sculpted chocolate body instantly made me lick my lips. "Is he turning me on?", I thought silently to myself while shaking my head in disbelief. "Mam, you don't have to go through any trouble on my account.", he said to me from the bedroom, "I am just about done with your bed so you should come try it out." I finished putting everything inside my roasting pot and hurried into the bedroom only to see his body glistening and his muscles protruding. I think that I instantly became wet. I walk over to him to thank him and he said, "Go ahead. Jump on it. I aim to please." I thought to myself, " I wish you'd jump on me." I sat down on the bed and smiled while telling him what a great job that he had done. I took my shoes off and began rubbing my feet. To my surprise he grabbed my foot and began massaging it. I was melting into the bed. Before I knew I was laying back on the bed and what started off as an innocent foot massage had turned into a full body massage and all I had on was my panties. With ever stroke of my body I could feel his hard chiseled body against mine and before I knew it, I began to kiss him passionately. It has been so long since I had been with a man. What if I had forgotten what to do? But he kissed me back while slipping his fingers inside my tight wet pussy. This was driving me crazy. Is this really happening? I've never done anything like this before. He slowly took his fingers from inside of me then sucked every drop of my juices from his finger tips. I began to kiss and lick his chest until I finally made it to his shaft. It was big, black and pretty. I made sure to put each and every inch inside of my mouth. Sucking and sucking, wanting to get him just as excited as I am. Evidently I was doing a great job because before I knew it, he had grabbed me and threw me onto the bed damn near ripping my panties off. His tongue slid inside of me melting me like a hot knife going into butter. My body was gyrating uncontrollably around the motions of his mouth while he sucked and tongue fucked my pussy like I have never had it before. Oh my god I'm cumming! As I began to cum all in his mouth and all over his face, he thrust his big dick deep inside my pussy causing me to go crazily insane. He felt so good inside of me. He would slow down at points during our fling. I'm not sure if he did it to keep himself from cumming or if he just like to hear me beg for him to go deeper inside of me. Either way, I was enjoying each and every inch of this man that was here with me, inside of me and outside of me. He knew exactly where to place his hands at every point. There was no part of my body that he left untouched and I was grateful for it. "I can't let him outdo me.", I thought as I began to ride his beautifully built big dick. I rode him fast and hard reverse cowgirl style and just when he was about to cum, I jumped up and sucked each and every drop out of him. He tasted really good and I made sure that he knew that by not wasting a drop of his cum. I swallowed it all. As we both fell back on my bed....

   "Mam, Do you need some help bringing your things inside?",my new neighbor asked. At first sight I had began to daydream about the fine specimen that god made and called a man. I promptly answered, "Sure. It would be nice if you could help.", while smiling at him innocently. Then he yelled into his apartment, "Hey babe, I'm going to help our new neighbor. Come on boys, yall can lend a hand too." Just my luck I guess. He's married with kids. In time one day I will find that man I guess but until then I guess I will continue getting settled into my new home. *sigh*

STILL ON MY MIND! SMGDH!!!!

I got this on repeat!!!! Frank Ocean - Thinkin Bout You


Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
A tornado flew around my room before you came
Excuse the mess it made, it usually doesn't rain
In Southern California, much like Arizona
My eyes don't shed tears, but boy, they pour when

[Hook]
I'm thinking 'bout you (Ooh no, no, no)
I've been thinking 'bout you (You know, know, know)
I've been thinking 'bout you
Do you think about me still? Do ya, do ya?

[Bridge]
Or do you not think so far ahead?
Cause I been thinking 'bout forever, ooh
Or do you not think so far ahead?
Cause I been thinking 'bout forever, ooh

[Verse 2]
No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it
Got a beach house I could sell you in Idaho, since you think
I don't love you, I just thought you were cute, that's why I kissed you
Got a fighter jet, I don't get to fly it, though, I'm lying down

[Hook] + [Bridge]

[Verse 3]
Yes, of course, I remember, how could I forget, how you feel?
You know you were my first time, a new feel
It won't ever get old, not in my soul, not in my spirit, keep it alive
We'll go down this road 'til it turns from color to black and white

Fuckery

I will be sooooo glad when reality shows like The Real House Hoes Of Atlanta, Basketball Bitches and Love And Who Aint Hip Hop would stop being aired! In my opinion, these shows depict African Americans in the worst possible way. These people DO NOT represent me in any way, shape or form. I'm grateful that my kids don't like foolishness or they'd try to watch it just like many other youth. Is this really the example that, we as black people, want to put out there to represent us? I guess nobody cares as long as a buck is being made by someone. There are people that lobbied against gangsta rap and the stigma that it carried but I guess this bullshit, that is considered entertainment, is ok for everyone until it spills into the upper class communities. What happened to the real shows that had to have talented writers to carry it for years at a time? I really don't give two fucks about what a celebrity has going on in their life. A celebrity's job is to entertain me with an illusion of some sort then go home to their own private life to live. I don't care about where they shop, eat, vacation or none of that. Who cares who they are arguing with? Hell, if the media would keep their drug use out of the lime light then maybe so many kids wouldn't think it was ok to get high since they are doing it. It seems as though our society is being ruined by a contradictory, ass backwards, misguided way of thinking. Everyone wants a better life and wants everything to get better but yet nobody is teaching and instilling any standards, morals or self respect into our youth. Why doesn't Fox News report that? I'm just tired of it all! I suppose my kids along with a few others will be the only ones that have that!

This is really bigger than the fuckery that is found within the African American shows when you think about it. Look at the show 16 & Pregnant, Redneck Weddings and Jersey Shore. Is society so fucked up that all of this has became the norm? I don't blame all of society's problems solely on television but in my opinion it has a lot to do with it. Our kids spend more time watching that idiot box than they do anything else, other than probably facebook and twitter but they are probably doing them both at the same time.

Just remember that kids emulate whatever they are exposed to the next time you think it's cute to watch some bullshit while your child is in the room instead of finding something more appropriate for them. That goes for the things that you do and/or say around them also. I say that because folks kill me acting surprised that their kids turn out to be bad seeds after they exposed them to all the elements that made them that way.

This is not meant to judge anyone. I wrote this hoping that I may make someone put some thought into things and hopefully put some things into perspective. It's never too late for change and if we don't start with ourselves then where will we start?

Mental Illness

Living life with a chemical imbalance is hard at times although there are many Americans walking around dealing with this every day. Wanting to feel a certain way but not being able to control it or your impulses at times, can cause major havoc in your life. Not to mention lashing out at your closest loved ones when you don't even realize that you are doing it. This can make having a relationship quite difficult. You go to the doctor only to be prescribed medicine that makes you feel like a damn zombie or that will have a great deal of side effects. Who wants to live like that? Many choose to go throughout life without any treatment. This is something that has been going on in the black community for while now. I don't know why African Americans are so against mental health treatment. I remember times when everyone had a uncle, cousin, granddaddy or something of another that stayed with them but never came out of their room. We were always told not to mess with them while we played as kids because they are crazy. Why didn't those people ever get any help? An even better question is why does society make those who have mental illness feel too ashamed to get help or share their struggle? It almost seems as though nobody understands unless they have been through it themselves. That tends to leave most people feeling all alone in their struggle. Who do you trust when you are going through something that nobody else understands? Who do you talk to when you don't understand it yourself? What if it was you? How would you feel?

Facebook Joke

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. 'What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!', he said to himself.

As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.

He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.

At that instant the atheist cried out: 'Oh my God!...'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying:

'You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light.

'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?'

'Very well, 'said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: 'Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen.