What Is The Definition Of Cheating?

   Is cheating only defined by a sexual act? Lately I have been hearing all kinds of examples of cheating that goes beyond the normal definition of some kind of sexual endeavor. I always considered it only cheating if it was in an emotional or sexual manner but today I learned that many also associate it with a financial aspect. When I was younger I always had a "boyfriend" but I also had a slew of male friends that I kicked it with. I viewed my encounters with my male counterparts as something simply innocent in nature since I would shut down any ideas of a romance between us if it ever came up. I considered that a part of me being completely devoted to my relationship and also being considerate of my friend by not leading him on in any kind of way. There were certain times when I would accept gifts from my male friends but I never thought anything was wrong with it until today when I posed this question on facebook " What is your definition of a cheater? If a woman has a friend and a man but they both shower her with gifts and money, does that make her a cheater? *and vice versa* Even though they both know about each other and she made it perfectly clear to her friend that all that they would ever be is homies???? " To my surprise many believe that is a cheater. I never saw it that way because I never keep secrets. Matter of fact I am an open book in all my relationships whether it's friendship or romantic. I guess that I thought in my delusional mind that it was all innocent and the gifts and money was just out of the kindness of their hearts. To me that's exactly what it was being that I am really free hearted and would do the same if given the opportunity. It wasn't my fault that they refused to let me do so! *shrugs* I blame my parents for spoiling me rotten and leading me to believe that it was ok. LMFAO! Seriously, what are your thoughts on this entire situation? I really need to know this as I continue to try to improve myself and become a better ME. *Disclaimer: I still stand by the fact that I am not a cheater and I have never cheated before because I ride out for somebody I love to the bitter end!!!!*

What Comes First???

   As usual we had an interesting show last night during our relationship segment. What stood out to me the most was the discussion about what comes first, a relationship or sex. Although some agreed sex comes first, I still seem to think that a relationship should take precedence in most situations whether it's as friends or lovers. I've never been one that was able to lay down with someone and willingly give my body to them without a connection or some kind of romantic feelings for that person. What happened to a woman saving her honey pot for a man that is deserving of such a treasure instead of looking for a quick nut? There are so many women running around complaining about there aren't any good men left yet they are quick to give their goodies away to the lowest bidder out of pure loneliness. That's one of the problems right there. There aren't enough women in the world giving men a challenge anymore. I guess since women out number men 5 to 1 then most are like "Fuck It" and they'll do any and everything, not to mention put up with all kinds of crap just to say that they have man. Most times the man doesn't even know that he's in relationship with her but she will claim the hell out of his ass anyway. *shrugs*
    Steve Harvey has fucked most women's head up with his book Think Like Man But Act Like A Lady. Women weren't made to think like men unless they are like Chaz Bono and we all know that she has transformed into a man with a doctor's help. GOD made women a certain way to maintain a balance during marriage. So you've read the book, you do everything it says and get your husband, how long will it be before you grow tired of being something that you're truly NOT? Is that not the same as building a relationship on lies? Women are running around with that book like it's a new age bible. I think it's bullshit! If someone cannot except you for YOU(flaws and all) then what's the purpose of being with them? There is not one person walking this earth that is perfect so if you can't take me as I am then I need you to move your ass around so that a more eligible suitor may have a chance at gaining my heart.
     The sooner that you begin to know your self worth and love yourself the sooner it will be for you to stop excepting bullshit in your life. If you cannot find a mate then try something new. Hell, work on self improvement in the meanwhile. Usually during those times is when a good man will notice you. Never let having a man define you as a woman. Learn how to be a good woman. Half the women that I know don't cook or clean let alone know how to be the submissive woman described in the bible. I know some of your mouths dropped with that! LOL! I don't mean submissive like the chick in the movie Coming To America but more so of knowing your roll and letting your man BE THE MAN in relationship. You say that your man is dumb and stupid yet you chose him to be yours so you have to live with every ignorant choice he makes for you and your household. That brings me back to what I said earlier about rushing and wanting to have a man so bad that you're willing to settle for anything. Basically what I'm saying is stop making decisions based on your emotions, use your mind and common sense because I'm tired of all of the complaining when you hold all the cards in your hands.

Love And Relationships

I have always been a pretty intuitive person and since I have been co-hosting Tree's Spot this has really grown. That brings me to love and relationships. We do a show every Monday night at 9pm cst that is focused on the subject. How do you know you're in love and how do you know when to let go. We as human beings all crave the sense of love and to be loved. It is up to the individual to determine their own definition of what they think love is and what works best for them. Me personally, I am a bit spoiled so it takes a particular kind of man to deal with and put up with me. LOL! But hey that's my preference and it certainly has to be his also. I have learned a lot about myself after ending a very long term relationship and my journey of self improvement continues on. I encourage anyone that has ended a relationship to take time out to figure themselves out in hopes that they can learn to love and understand self so that they will not carry baggage into a new relationship, know exactly what they will and will not tolerate, as well as knowing undoubtedly what they want. Especially when there are children involved. There's no sense in a child being exposed to a bunch of different people because you don't know how to lay in your bed at night alone.
That brings me to the "Friends With Benefits" situation that many choose. How does that work for you? Usually one or both catch feelings which make this particular pairing a disaster in most cases and leaves one broken hearted while the other is confused and mad. How does he or she handle it? *Good Question* He will usually begin stalking the female while the female will go to drastic means of flatting tires or busting out car windows. In my opinion neither is an answer or a solution to the problem. Why not practice some self control and quit SEXercising everyone while searching for love. Validate yourself and stop looking for someone to do it for you.
I am a firm believer in friendships. Start a friendship with a potential mate so that you can take the appropriate amount of time to get to know the person in question. People don't change overnight. They just become more comfortable about letting their true self shine through in time. I really get confused when people act dumbfounded about their mate abruptly changing on them. Hell if you were more concerned about getting to know the real them instead of how their private parts make you squeal and scream you would've noticed how they really were in the beginning. This is just a little food for thought and my honest opinion. Take it as you may but it is the truth as I see it!

Sometimes I like Getting Fucked Up

My life is based on weed

Something so special it grows from a seed

Optimo's are it's vessel

And it's quality is essential

Shit it better be the best

That nigga know's I'll put it to the test

And talk funky if it ain't right

I want my money back that same night

Cause I don't want no bullshit

Instead of smoking boe I'd rather quit

After all Remy is still my shit

Yeah I almost forgot

I like good liquor while smoking my pot

Mostly fine congac you see

The brand name is RemyV.S.O.P.

I like it smooth and straight

I smoke plain, not no lace

I'll leave the powder for the sucka's

Chasing that high will turn them into clucka's

Because my life is based on weed

A pack of newport's and Remy V.S.O.P.

Just to take the stress away

At the begining and end of every day

My ghetto medication is what I take

It's a habit that I constantly try to break

Even though it's in my blood to get fucked up

My indian heritage tells me to light up

A peice pipe is what They smoked

In this day optimo's is what I choke

This rhyme is not for everyone

Just for those who like to blow one

Now I have told you all about me

If you do what I do, you feel me

The "dro" makes it clear so your eyes can see

That being blunted is all about me

I cannot forget my Remy V.S.O.P.

The combination is what completes me

It's what I need for every day life

Living sober is quite a fight

It's a dual with the devil

And I can't quite conquer this level

But it will come a time

When I will hit it on dime

I'll live life without getting high

Living sober life not a lie

A time to be glad

And thinking of all the money could've had

Then i'll be living large

Fuck that shit, I'll still smoke on the weekends cause it get's hard

At least least it'll be better than before

$50 a day and sometimes more

I'll cut my cost to be the boss

But without my weed I'll be lost

My time is now up

It's time for me to roll and light up

Knowing...

The greatest impact that you will ever feel in your life is the one that you make on others assuming that it's a positive one. Don't bother apologizing if you're just going to continue doing the things you said sorry for. If you can't be honest with who you are, how can you be honest with the one you love. Relationships are either all or nothing but make sure you're not exchanging your all for nothing! A woman in a healthy relationship should never have to ask: do u love me, do u find me attractive or where is this going! When somebody really cares about you they will treat you like a ..... necessity not an accessory.