DeadBeats

   I always here these horror stories about how women do their kids dad wrong once they break up but what about the bitter men that do the same shit? How can a man mistreat his kids by refusing to care for them just because the kids mom doesn't want to continue a relationship with him? Doing that doesn't hurt the mother as much as it will hurt, damage and impact the children. Children are not oblivious to what is going on always. They witness things but keep their mouths shut and more than likely will begin to lash out once they get older. You cannot place your kids on a shelf like an old toy and come back to play with them whenever you see fit. Being a parent is a 24 hour job that parents should take pride in doing. Grow up people! Stop letting your adult bitterness affect your children. After all, they never asked to be here. They just want to feel loved and accepted by both parents without enduring the adult bullshit that you'll created!!!

We All Have Our Struggles But We Must Overcome Them

My friend sent me a blog about her inner thoughts and I asked her if I could share it. Of course she agreed since she, just like I like to empower women as well as learn not only from our on mistakes but others as well. I just wanted my readers to know that we are not alone in our struggles. We all have our own obstacles to overcome and hopefully this story will help someone find the strength that they need deep down inside! 

She writes......

  Sometimes, it takes someone else's mess to recognize your shit stinks also... I'd like to thank the good folks at Love & Hip Hop ATL, especially MiMi and Erica for opening my eyes and allowing me to hold my mirror close and see MY truths... For the past 3 1/2 years, I've embarked on a sometimes good, most times bad, on/off again relationship with someone I loved and adored... What I didn't realize about my own situation, was that as time went on and he and I rode this roller coaster... I was less in love with him and more in love with the idea that one day, he would give me what I desired... A family unit, love, support and an equal give and take... I also felt partially obligated to be there for him... I wanted to show him that regardless of past relationships he is and was worthy of unconditional love... Over time I realized, you can give all you have, love without conditions, but if a man doesn't feel HE is worth it... It's a vicious cycle of you losing yourself in a situation where nothing you do is ever "good enough"... By nature, I'm a nurturer... I give all I can and do all I can for anyone... However, when I determine that "I love you" there are no limits to what I will do to make you happy, negating my own happiness at times... Now reread that last sentence and see how fucked up that mentality is and the sad part is many of my Sister's share this same "confockted" ideology.  Why is it, a woman will forego her happiness to cater to that of a man that is usually undeserving of that kind of "power" or love in the first place... In this relationship, I gave all I had and then some and tolerated things I ordinarily wouldn't... As I look back, I was driven by the notion that if I loved him in a place he'd never been loved before he would realize he had a "great one"... Truth is, I stuck by this man through a deployment, was dumped upon his return and ultimately took him back & embarked and stood by him for another deployment... Without him changing a thing... I took him back "as is"... And then convinced myself I was lucky to have him... That is my fault... Recently, my life was turned upside down, by the unexpected and untimely death of one of my favorite Uncle's... While I smile and go on my way, this loss truly hurt my heart... I struggle with his loss almost daily... I'm either extremely sad or extremely angry... I could see no good from this situation and through one of my many, sleepless, insomniac driven all night God talks, I received a huge epiphany... My Uncle was family, I spent a lot of my life with him... Times when my own Dad and I were on the "outs" my Uncle was there... He truly was a surrogate and didn't have to be... Losing him is something I will probably never get over, but I'm comforted in knowing its something over time I will be able to "deal" with... If there could ever be a bright side, my Uncle's passing made me re-evaluate every friendship I have including my relationship... I learned that what we love most at times isn't what God has intended for us and we block blessings writing people in ink in our lives, when clearly God wants them to be a pencil we are able to erase... I have learned I don't have to do extra, if I'm me in time whomever God has chosen me for will manifest themselves... I'm saddened because I finally decided to rid myself of the situation... If I can lose my Uncle and never see him again... I can remove anyone that isn't being what I need them to be and not returning what I'm giving... Relationships aren't 80/20, 100/0 or even 52/48... It's 50/50 and not half of what you desire to give... It's two people giving equally of what they both have to offer... I've learned, I'm clingy, I require lots of attention and I'm really affectionate... These are things he tried to tell me were flaws or bad qualities... Truth is, these are me and there is someone out there that will accept me as is... As I continue to deal with my Uncle's passing and mourn the end to a relationship and friendship, I am reminded, God holds me... He never gives me more than I can bare and I'm being prepared for my best yet and I will come through this storm, happier, better and even more blessed... A huge weight was lifted when I ended that relationship... I thought I'd be sad, depressed... I was actually happy, relieved and fulfilled. I've learned a lot, grown a lot and matured immensely since my Uncle's passing... My tolerance is lower and I'm living more doing more and delving more into God and who HE wants me to be...  Finally I can say, aside from God & my boys, I'm finally, putting ME first....

- F. Nichole

DATING

   Are there any laws or rules to dating? I have been asking myself this recently. I'm trying to figure out how to date more than one guy without neglecting one of them. I usually only date one guy at a time because it seems like too much of a struggle trying to please more than one person at a time. I have no clue how Stevie J is able to do this with his various women. Somehow I think that one of them feels neglected while the main one is the one feeling special and everyone wants to feel special, spend time together and feel secure in whatever it is you have going on. At least I know I do. Without it I will become bored and lose interest. To some I suppose that is complex, while others see it as an easy task. Guys tell me all the time how I'm a good woman and how they would love to be with me but I digress. I don't feel the same about them. I have taken the time to get to know several guys over the past few years and I can honestly say that I have only met 2 that I know that I could be with happily. Some say that I'm too picky but I think that I have standards and morals that help me decide about who I choose to love and/or date. In a world driven by sex, money and common hate, how do you successfully date in 2012? I know that I will never find someone with each and everything that I'm looking for but I am entitled to someone that possesses the vast majority of the qualities that I need. Matter of fact it's quite simple in my eyes. Intelligence, good sense of humor, chivalry, good conversation, honesty, commitment (no cheating allowed), family orientated, nice libido and someone not too clingy but knows how to spend time with me and make me feel special are a few of those requirements. Is that too much to ask for? Right now I'm not sure. I feel as though I'm at a dating crossroad and I'm not sure which way to go. To be honest, I'm not sure if I should continue down the road that I'm on but I know the roads that I don't want to take. What are your dating experiences like?

DEAR DIARY

   Today has been a sad day since I have been sitting here feeling quite lonely since I stopped dating. Maybe it will get better as soon as I settle into my new place. I met a few of my neighbors yesterday while dragging my furniture up the stairs of my apartment complex. One of them was extremely nice and helped me bring some of my things inside. At first I didn't expect him to do anything but politely wave just like the others because he's so handsome and I didn't think he would give me a second look. To my surprise he did.
 
   After getting everything inside he stayed to help put my furniture together. I decided that I would prepare us a nice dinner since that was the least that I could do after he had worked so hard helping me. As I chopped the vegetables for my stew I saw him remove his shirt while trying to cool off. The sweat dripping down his beautifully sculpted chocolate body instantly made me lick my lips. "Is he turning me on?", I thought silently to myself while shaking my head in disbelief. "Mam, you don't have to go through any trouble on my account.", he said to me from the bedroom, "I am just about done with your bed so you should come try it out." I finished putting everything inside my roasting pot and hurried into the bedroom only to see his body glistening and his muscles protruding. I think that I instantly became wet. I walk over to him to thank him and he said, "Go ahead. Jump on it. I aim to please." I thought to myself, " I wish you'd jump on me." I sat down on the bed and smiled while telling him what a great job that he had done. I took my shoes off and began rubbing my feet. To my surprise he grabbed my foot and began massaging it. I was melting into the bed. Before I knew I was laying back on the bed and what started off as an innocent foot massage had turned into a full body massage and all I had on was my panties. With ever stroke of my body I could feel his hard chiseled body against mine and before I knew it, I began to kiss him passionately. It has been so long since I had been with a man. What if I had forgotten what to do? But he kissed me back while slipping his fingers inside my tight wet pussy. This was driving me crazy. Is this really happening? I've never done anything like this before. He slowly took his fingers from inside of me then sucked every drop of my juices from his finger tips. I began to kiss and lick his chest until I finally made it to his shaft. It was big, black and pretty. I made sure to put each and every inch inside of my mouth. Sucking and sucking, wanting to get him just as excited as I am. Evidently I was doing a great job because before I knew it, he had grabbed me and threw me onto the bed damn near ripping my panties off. His tongue slid inside of me melting me like a hot knife going into butter. My body was gyrating uncontrollably around the motions of his mouth while he sucked and tongue fucked my pussy like I have never had it before. Oh my god I'm cumming! As I began to cum all in his mouth and all over his face, he thrust his big dick deep inside my pussy causing me to go crazily insane. He felt so good inside of me. He would slow down at points during our fling. I'm not sure if he did it to keep himself from cumming or if he just like to hear me beg for him to go deeper inside of me. Either way, I was enjoying each and every inch of this man that was here with me, inside of me and outside of me. He knew exactly where to place his hands at every point. There was no part of my body that he left untouched and I was grateful for it. "I can't let him outdo me.", I thought as I began to ride his beautifully built big dick. I rode him fast and hard reverse cowgirl style and just when he was about to cum, I jumped up and sucked each and every drop out of him. He tasted really good and I made sure that he knew that by not wasting a drop of his cum. I swallowed it all. As we both fell back on my bed....

   "Mam, Do you need some help bringing your things inside?",my new neighbor asked. At first sight I had began to daydream about the fine specimen that god made and called a man. I promptly answered, "Sure. It would be nice if you could help.", while smiling at him innocently. Then he yelled into his apartment, "Hey babe, I'm going to help our new neighbor. Come on boys, yall can lend a hand too." Just my luck I guess. He's married with kids. In time one day I will find that man I guess but until then I guess I will continue getting settled into my new home. *sigh*

STILL ON MY MIND! SMGDH!!!!

I got this on repeat!!!! Frank Ocean - Thinkin Bout You


Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
A tornado flew around my room before you came
Excuse the mess it made, it usually doesn't rain
In Southern California, much like Arizona
My eyes don't shed tears, but boy, they pour when

[Hook]
I'm thinking 'bout you (Ooh no, no, no)
I've been thinking 'bout you (You know, know, know)
I've been thinking 'bout you
Do you think about me still? Do ya, do ya?

[Bridge]
Or do you not think so far ahead?
Cause I been thinking 'bout forever, ooh
Or do you not think so far ahead?
Cause I been thinking 'bout forever, ooh

[Verse 2]
No, I don't like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it
Got a beach house I could sell you in Idaho, since you think
I don't love you, I just thought you were cute, that's why I kissed you
Got a fighter jet, I don't get to fly it, though, I'm lying down

[Hook] + [Bridge]

[Verse 3]
Yes, of course, I remember, how could I forget, how you feel?
You know you were my first time, a new feel
It won't ever get old, not in my soul, not in my spirit, keep it alive
We'll go down this road 'til it turns from color to black and white

Fuckery

I will be sooooo glad when reality shows like The Real House Hoes Of Atlanta, Basketball Bitches and Love And Who Aint Hip Hop would stop being aired! In my opinion, these shows depict African Americans in the worst possible way. These people DO NOT represent me in any way, shape or form. I'm grateful that my kids don't like foolishness or they'd try to watch it just like many other youth. Is this really the example that, we as black people, want to put out there to represent us? I guess nobody cares as long as a buck is being made by someone. There are people that lobbied against gangsta rap and the stigma that it carried but I guess this bullshit, that is considered entertainment, is ok for everyone until it spills into the upper class communities. What happened to the real shows that had to have talented writers to carry it for years at a time? I really don't give two fucks about what a celebrity has going on in their life. A celebrity's job is to entertain me with an illusion of some sort then go home to their own private life to live. I don't care about where they shop, eat, vacation or none of that. Who cares who they are arguing with? Hell, if the media would keep their drug use out of the lime light then maybe so many kids wouldn't think it was ok to get high since they are doing it. It seems as though our society is being ruined by a contradictory, ass backwards, misguided way of thinking. Everyone wants a better life and wants everything to get better but yet nobody is teaching and instilling any standards, morals or self respect into our youth. Why doesn't Fox News report that? I'm just tired of it all! I suppose my kids along with a few others will be the only ones that have that!

This is really bigger than the fuckery that is found within the African American shows when you think about it. Look at the show 16 & Pregnant, Redneck Weddings and Jersey Shore. Is society so fucked up that all of this has became the norm? I don't blame all of society's problems solely on television but in my opinion it has a lot to do with it. Our kids spend more time watching that idiot box than they do anything else, other than probably facebook and twitter but they are probably doing them both at the same time.

Just remember that kids emulate whatever they are exposed to the next time you think it's cute to watch some bullshit while your child is in the room instead of finding something more appropriate for them. That goes for the things that you do and/or say around them also. I say that because folks kill me acting surprised that their kids turn out to be bad seeds after they exposed them to all the elements that made them that way.

This is not meant to judge anyone. I wrote this hoping that I may make someone put some thought into things and hopefully put some things into perspective. It's never too late for change and if we don't start with ourselves then where will we start?

Mental Illness

Living life with a chemical imbalance is hard at times although there are many Americans walking around dealing with this every day. Wanting to feel a certain way but not being able to control it or your impulses at times, can cause major havoc in your life. Not to mention lashing out at your closest loved ones when you don't even realize that you are doing it. This can make having a relationship quite difficult. You go to the doctor only to be prescribed medicine that makes you feel like a damn zombie or that will have a great deal of side effects. Who wants to live like that? Many choose to go throughout life without any treatment. This is something that has been going on in the black community for while now. I don't know why African Americans are so against mental health treatment. I remember times when everyone had a uncle, cousin, granddaddy or something of another that stayed with them but never came out of their room. We were always told not to mess with them while we played as kids because they are crazy. Why didn't those people ever get any help? An even better question is why does society make those who have mental illness feel too ashamed to get help or share their struggle? It almost seems as though nobody understands unless they have been through it themselves. That tends to leave most people feeling all alone in their struggle. Who do you trust when you are going through something that nobody else understands? Who do you talk to when you don't understand it yourself? What if it was you? How would you feel?

Facebook Joke

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. 'What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!', he said to himself.

As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.

He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.

At that instant the atheist cried out: 'Oh my God!...'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying:

'You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light.

'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?'

'Very well, 'said the voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: 'Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen.

Insecure People

I'm so tired of hearing these stories about how my friends (male & female) mates are turning into FBI agents due to insecurities. *sigh* Nobody wants to be with someone that they cannot trust or that does not trust them. There is a such thing as privacy and just because you are boinking someone, that doesn't give you the right to disregard the other person's privacy! Why go looking through someone's phone? Are they not entitled to friends of the opposite sex? Why go looking throughout their facebook or twitter page? Better yet why ask for their passwords to everything that they have? At this point you should be asking yourself why you are even trying to be with them if you are going through these drastic measures! What is there to gain at this point? I'm not saying that you should sit back and be a fool for anybody but DAMN, is all that really necessary? Just because you dated an asshole in the past doesn't mean that the new person that you are dating is up to the same tricks. There are some genuinely great people out there that are just friendly and personable. That alone makes people like their company. I know because I'm one of them. I cannot help the fact that men like to be around me. Even though I have a great time with my male counterparts, I would never have an intimate relationship with any of them and I have few reasons why. One is because nine times out of ten, I'm too busy being a little sister or big sister to them and we mainly talk about their girl. I help them understand a woman's point of view. The second reason is because I have been friends with them long enough to know that they have friendly dick, so a ride or die homie relationship is all we will ever have. Hell let me throw in this, we were never attracted to each other but we always enjoy each others company. Platonic relationships can exist as long as both parties involved respect each other and the type of relationship that they share. So if you feel the need to follow your mate, hide in the bushes, call numbers back or send their friends messages through facebook or twitter I suggest that you reevaluate your position in the relationship. Especially when a simple text can be misconstrued into what ever you are suspicious of before you read it. I know that I wouldn't want to go through all that bullshit so I don't believe in doing it to the man that I claim to love. Old heads always used to say, "Don't go looking for things that you don't want the answers to."

NBA Playoffs

*sigh* I know that I'm about to piss a bunch of folks off with this blog but as normal, I don't have a fuck to give! *shrugs* As an avid football fan (Go Tennessee Titans!) I rarely watch any basketball but this year I have been very much into it. Mainly because I'm constantly rooting for Lebron and his awkwardly placed hair plugs to never get a ring. I can't stand his arrogant ass so I can't contain the boos that come from my inner being for the Miami Heat. On the other hand I'm ecstatic for the Oklahoma City Thunder and their players Westbrook, Durant, Hardin and Ibaka to have made it to the finals. Now that is indeed a dream team in my eyes. These young kats have worked very hard to make it to this point and have basically told everyone who didn't believe in them to kiss their ass by showing how hard that they work on the court. Durant or "Durantula as I like to call him is 6'9" with a 7'5" wingspan and is eating the heat up under that basket. Hardin who is 6'5" and recently got knocked the fuck out by Ron Artest after a dunk, has shown and proved that he is a force to reckoned with on the court. Him and his beard have my full support! Ibaka comes in at nice 6'10". Although he looks like he doesn't speak a lick of english and that he frequents WIC offices, his energy and endurance is outstanding when he's on the court doing his thing. I guess those long days in the Congo paid off for him! I saved the best for last. My nigga! *Denzel Washington in Training Day voice* Westbrook is my new favorite player in the NBA. Standing up at a tall 6'3" he is the epitome of what I think basketball is lacking. He seems like the kind of guy that you see shooting ball in the park with a pistol in his pocket and I love it! It seems like the crazier he is the better he plays so bring on the bath salts so he can get it crackin!!! I'm looking forward to seeing him demolish LeBum and the rest of what's left of his hair, D. Wade and his I need a tampon because I'm on my period bitching for a foul ass and Bosh's open toe wedge wearing ass. Sometimes I think Bosh only plays so that he can model his jersey up and down the court. I'm just saying that he is questionable looking and probably should move to Atlanta. *2 snaps in a "Z" formation* I can't wait for game 4 to come on tonight as the Heat leads OKC 2-1. Will you be watching tonight?

Flirting Vs Being Nice Vs Being Romantically Interested

    Here's another one for the books. There is a big difference between being nice, being romantically interested in someone and just innocently flirting. Just because someone tells you that you look nice does not mean that they want you or are flirting with you. Some people just have a pleasant demeanor and they like to spread their loving bubbly personality around like lollipops. There's nothing wrong with this either. You never know who's life you can impact by saying a few kind words. I love people like that! Moving right along....Calling someone sugar, boo, baby, babe, bae and all those other sugary filled words is somewhat a form of flirting. How do I know? I know because I'm a serial flirter. I do it so much that I don't even recognize that I'm doing it most times. The thing with the entire flirting situation is that sometimes calling someone a little cute name doesn't constitute flirting and is one's way of being nice. I'm sure that entire concept is confusing to some since a lot of people think that a person is romantically interested in them when this is done on too many times. Which brings me to discuss someone being romantically interested in you. If someone is romantically interested in you they will let it be known. At least a person like me will! They way that I treat my friends/homies is totally different that how would treat a romantic interest.

Irritated

There are a few things that I really can't stand and that's liars, cheaters, snobs, pity party playing the I am the victim all the time muthafuckas, deadbeat parents, fake ass friends, ungrateful muthafuckas, users and abusers, fake ass keyboard gangstas, bitches(men and women) who run their mouth too damn much, know it alls and last but not least I hate a muthafucka that lies and makes up shit just to act like or seem like they're doing something other than the regular basic shit that they are accustomed to. I always encourage folks to be themselves unless they are on some fuck shit because then I will encourage them to change. I really don't care if they change or not because if they do or don't my life won't be affected and if it's that detrimental then I can easily remove myself from associating with that person all together. We all have our own destiny and you can choose to live your life however you choose but some of yall muthafuckas need to stop, take a chill pill and begin to reevaluate yourselves. I can say that because I try to do something to better myself every damn day. And if I can do it, your ass can too! Some of yall muthafuckas make my ass itch with all of your fuckery and foolishness so if you think I'm talking to you, I probably am because only a hurt dog will holler.

Frustrated

   I have been telling this guy for 6 months or better that he is not one of my starters and security has placed his ass in the stands with the rest of my homies. Today he seemed to piss me off more than usual since I keep telling him to stop fading me with sexual comments being that I do not see him in that kind of way at all. I had became so frustrated that I told him that I don't even want a team anymore. To my surprise he got excited thinking that this somehow put him in a better position with me. *rolls eyes* I can't do ignorance so I guess he will be getting blocked today. *shrugs* When do men finally give the fuck up, accept a friendship only relationship and move the fuck around? This shit has me baffled! I am genuinely nice to everyone but there comes a time when being nice is out of the question. I am not like other women. I am my own person in every accord and my stature will not be downgraded, disrespected or downplayed in any form or fashion. Just because you're used to dealing with bottom feeding hoes, does not mean that I will lower myself to accept the bullshit that you do. Matter of fact, that is one of the reasons why I'm always getting rid of men. I refuse to deal with the dumb shit. Take ya ass to find someone more suitable for your particular taste. I'm sure BoomQueeshia is ecstatically waiting for your ass somewhere. 

I'm Not Better Than Anyone I'm Just Me

   I decided to write this so that my readers could get a glimpse into my own struggles. The things that I write are mostly from experience but some also come from the common sense that GOD gave me. I don't think I'm better than anyone and I surely would never judge anyone for their choices. I have an opinion but that doesn't make the way I think law. I have made mistakes just like any other woman. I am a single mother of two beautiful girls and their dad is a jackass so there's one. LOL! He ain't shit but I wouldn't have my babies without him so I'm thankful for that!
     Every day that we are blessed to wake up is a gift so we should never waste a second of it dwelling on idiocracies of the world. I try to stay very positive despite anything that may effect those around me or myself. Life is too short to dwell on anything other than the positive things in life. I don't care how bad your life is, you can find something within it to be grateful for. I choose to find the best in any bad situation and focus on that positive note instead of dwelling on the negative. Even after many trials and tribulations I can honestly say that I still feel blessed! I always think that there is someone out there that would kill to be in my spot so I thank GOD that He sees fit to have me here. As I continue throughout my life I'm sure that I will continue to grow since life is a never ending learning process and I plan on being the best student that I can be.
   As I continue to write these blogs I will try my best to give you'll a part of me. To know me is to love me and those closest to me know me as an open book. Although most people see me as cold hearted and mean, I'm far from that. I'm actually a very kind, loving and sharing person that has a great since of empathy, compassion and sympathy for everyone. I'm just really blunt and maybe a little crass with the things that I say. Honesty is a must and it goes a long way with me! :-)

Hoes Be Winning!!!

Allow me to introduce myself. I am that new twinkle in your man’s eye. The reason for the extra pep in his step. Doesn’t Daddy look extra handsome these days? It’s not only the designer suits that I buy for him, it’s also the confidence that is restored in him, because unlike you, I remind him on a regular basis that he is “the man.”  

I’ll give credit where it’s due. You weren’t always the selfish bitch you turned into. You really got him through some tough times. When he had no money, you supported him. (How could he forget, when you bring it up every chance you get?) Back in high school, when he wasn’t the cool guy on campus, you showed love. But much like your waistline from when he first met you…things have changed.  

Before you get your granny panties in a bunch, don’t fret. You have a good man. He did not set out to hurt or betray you, things just kind of happened. To my chagrin, he loves you very much, and has this displaced loyalty I only partly understand. But despite the love, here I am. Comfortably nestled in his daily thoughts. It’s normal to hate me and everything I stand for. But it is your inflexibility in just about everything in life which goes double in the bedroom, that pushed him to this point. Let’s be for real, do you really think it is okay for a man to never receive oral sex? Who do you think keeps him satisfied until the next birthday or holiday when you decide to make the journey down there?  

As long as there are women like you, women like me will always be in business. You make my job so easy. Why you may ask? For starters you have too much damn mouth. Why are there two kings in the castle? You may think you are winning the war with your constant nagging and complaining, but you are merely battling your way to a lonely bed at night. Your insecurity and incessant need for validation are the nails that are sealing your coffin.  

When Daddy is with me it’s refreshing. I know my role and I serve proudly. There is nothing to argue about. Only laughter and good times allowed in our private world.  

Of course I see your internet posts… “jump-off” this, and “side-piece” that. Forgive me for being “unphased.” Those names pale in comparison to some of the names that Daddy calls me when he is ravishing my body. We have fun experimenting with the things you are too uptight and/or controlling to allow.  

Sure his parents love you, and his colleagues look forward to seeing you at the holiday parties. That bothers me none. Because when he is staring off into space, he is recalling the sexy lap dance I gave him. So, I have to celebrate on December 26, and February 15, that is fine by me. All I need is him. While your selfish ass is forcing him to take you to an over-priced restaurant to celebrate Valentine’s Day…I am in the gym, keeping things tight for your man. You can keep the chocolates too, much too fattening for me.  

Be very afraid. I am not going anywhere. There are many others out here just like me waiting to step up when I do. You’ve been warned.  

Blissfully His,  

The Mistress

What Is The Definition Of Cheating?

   Is cheating only defined by a sexual act? Lately I have been hearing all kinds of examples of cheating that goes beyond the normal definition of some kind of sexual endeavor. I always considered it only cheating if it was in an emotional or sexual manner but today I learned that many also associate it with a financial aspect. When I was younger I always had a "boyfriend" but I also had a slew of male friends that I kicked it with. I viewed my encounters with my male counterparts as something simply innocent in nature since I would shut down any ideas of a romance between us if it ever came up. I considered that a part of me being completely devoted to my relationship and also being considerate of my friend by not leading him on in any kind of way. There were certain times when I would accept gifts from my male friends but I never thought anything was wrong with it until today when I posed this question on facebook " What is your definition of a cheater? If a woman has a friend and a man but they both shower her with gifts and money, does that make her a cheater? *and vice versa* Even though they both know about each other and she made it perfectly clear to her friend that all that they would ever be is homies???? " To my surprise many believe that is a cheater. I never saw it that way because I never keep secrets. Matter of fact I am an open book in all my relationships whether it's friendship or romantic. I guess that I thought in my delusional mind that it was all innocent and the gifts and money was just out of the kindness of their hearts. To me that's exactly what it was being that I am really free hearted and would do the same if given the opportunity. It wasn't my fault that they refused to let me do so! *shrugs* I blame my parents for spoiling me rotten and leading me to believe that it was ok. LMFAO! Seriously, what are your thoughts on this entire situation? I really need to know this as I continue to try to improve myself and become a better ME. *Disclaimer: I still stand by the fact that I am not a cheater and I have never cheated before because I ride out for somebody I love to the bitter end!!!!*

What Comes First???

   As usual we had an interesting show last night during our relationship segment. What stood out to me the most was the discussion about what comes first, a relationship or sex. Although some agreed sex comes first, I still seem to think that a relationship should take precedence in most situations whether it's as friends or lovers. I've never been one that was able to lay down with someone and willingly give my body to them without a connection or some kind of romantic feelings for that person. What happened to a woman saving her honey pot for a man that is deserving of such a treasure instead of looking for a quick nut? There are so many women running around complaining about there aren't any good men left yet they are quick to give their goodies away to the lowest bidder out of pure loneliness. That's one of the problems right there. There aren't enough women in the world giving men a challenge anymore. I guess since women out number men 5 to 1 then most are like "Fuck It" and they'll do any and everything, not to mention put up with all kinds of crap just to say that they have man. Most times the man doesn't even know that he's in relationship with her but she will claim the hell out of his ass anyway. *shrugs*
    Steve Harvey has fucked most women's head up with his book Think Like Man But Act Like A Lady. Women weren't made to think like men unless they are like Chaz Bono and we all know that she has transformed into a man with a doctor's help. GOD made women a certain way to maintain a balance during marriage. So you've read the book, you do everything it says and get your husband, how long will it be before you grow tired of being something that you're truly NOT? Is that not the same as building a relationship on lies? Women are running around with that book like it's a new age bible. I think it's bullshit! If someone cannot except you for YOU(flaws and all) then what's the purpose of being with them? There is not one person walking this earth that is perfect so if you can't take me as I am then I need you to move your ass around so that a more eligible suitor may have a chance at gaining my heart.
     The sooner that you begin to know your self worth and love yourself the sooner it will be for you to stop excepting bullshit in your life. If you cannot find a mate then try something new. Hell, work on self improvement in the meanwhile. Usually during those times is when a good man will notice you. Never let having a man define you as a woman. Learn how to be a good woman. Half the women that I know don't cook or clean let alone know how to be the submissive woman described in the bible. I know some of your mouths dropped with that! LOL! I don't mean submissive like the chick in the movie Coming To America but more so of knowing your roll and letting your man BE THE MAN in relationship. You say that your man is dumb and stupid yet you chose him to be yours so you have to live with every ignorant choice he makes for you and your household. That brings me back to what I said earlier about rushing and wanting to have a man so bad that you're willing to settle for anything. Basically what I'm saying is stop making decisions based on your emotions, use your mind and common sense because I'm tired of all of the complaining when you hold all the cards in your hands.

Love And Relationships

I have always been a pretty intuitive person and since I have been co-hosting Tree's Spot this has really grown. That brings me to love and relationships. We do a show every Monday night at 9pm cst that is focused on the subject. How do you know you're in love and how do you know when to let go. We as human beings all crave the sense of love and to be loved. It is up to the individual to determine their own definition of what they think love is and what works best for them. Me personally, I am a bit spoiled so it takes a particular kind of man to deal with and put up with me. LOL! But hey that's my preference and it certainly has to be his also. I have learned a lot about myself after ending a very long term relationship and my journey of self improvement continues on. I encourage anyone that has ended a relationship to take time out to figure themselves out in hopes that they can learn to love and understand self so that they will not carry baggage into a new relationship, know exactly what they will and will not tolerate, as well as knowing undoubtedly what they want. Especially when there are children involved. There's no sense in a child being exposed to a bunch of different people because you don't know how to lay in your bed at night alone.
That brings me to the "Friends With Benefits" situation that many choose. How does that work for you? Usually one or both catch feelings which make this particular pairing a disaster in most cases and leaves one broken hearted while the other is confused and mad. How does he or she handle it? *Good Question* He will usually begin stalking the female while the female will go to drastic means of flatting tires or busting out car windows. In my opinion neither is an answer or a solution to the problem. Why not practice some self control and quit SEXercising everyone while searching for love. Validate yourself and stop looking for someone to do it for you.
I am a firm believer in friendships. Start a friendship with a potential mate so that you can take the appropriate amount of time to get to know the person in question. People don't change overnight. They just become more comfortable about letting their true self shine through in time. I really get confused when people act dumbfounded about their mate abruptly changing on them. Hell if you were more concerned about getting to know the real them instead of how their private parts make you squeal and scream you would've noticed how they really were in the beginning. This is just a little food for thought and my honest opinion. Take it as you may but it is the truth as I see it!

Sometimes I like Getting Fucked Up

My life is based on weed

Something so special it grows from a seed

Optimo's are it's vessel

And it's quality is essential

Shit it better be the best

That nigga know's I'll put it to the test

And talk funky if it ain't right

I want my money back that same night

Cause I don't want no bullshit

Instead of smoking boe I'd rather quit

After all Remy is still my shit

Yeah I almost forgot

I like good liquor while smoking my pot

Mostly fine congac you see

The brand name is RemyV.S.O.P.

I like it smooth and straight

I smoke plain, not no lace

I'll leave the powder for the sucka's

Chasing that high will turn them into clucka's

Because my life is based on weed

A pack of newport's and Remy V.S.O.P.

Just to take the stress away

At the begining and end of every day

My ghetto medication is what I take

It's a habit that I constantly try to break

Even though it's in my blood to get fucked up

My indian heritage tells me to light up

A peice pipe is what They smoked

In this day optimo's is what I choke

This rhyme is not for everyone

Just for those who like to blow one

Now I have told you all about me

If you do what I do, you feel me

The "dro" makes it clear so your eyes can see

That being blunted is all about me

I cannot forget my Remy V.S.O.P.

The combination is what completes me

It's what I need for every day life

Living sober is quite a fight

It's a dual with the devil

And I can't quite conquer this level

But it will come a time

When I will hit it on dime

I'll live life without getting high

Living sober life not a lie

A time to be glad

And thinking of all the money could've had

Then i'll be living large

Fuck that shit, I'll still smoke on the weekends cause it get's hard

At least least it'll be better than before

$50 a day and sometimes more

I'll cut my cost to be the boss

But without my weed I'll be lost

My time is now up

It's time for me to roll and light up

Knowing...

The greatest impact that you will ever feel in your life is the one that you make on others assuming that it's a positive one. Don't bother apologizing if you're just going to continue doing the things you said sorry for. If you can't be honest with who you are, how can you be honest with the one you love. Relationships are either all or nothing but make sure you're not exchanging your all for nothing! A woman in a healthy relationship should never have to ask: do u love me, do u find me attractive or where is this going! When somebody really cares about you they will treat you like a ..... necessity not an accessory.